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Things My Mother Taught Me!

I got this list in an email; and I laughed the whole way through reading it. I hope you get a good chuckle from it too!


My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION -
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL -
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC -
"Because I said so, that's why."

My Mother taught me more LOGIC -
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT -
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY -
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST -
"Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA -
"You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER -
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS -
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen THEN?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY -
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY -
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION -
"Just wait until we get home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING -
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE -
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD -
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My Mother taught me ESP -
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

My mother taught me HUMOR -
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT -
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about GENETICS -
"You're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS -
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE -
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And my all time favorite... JUSTICE -
"One day you'll have kids ... and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Those ‘Special’ People

We all know people that may not necessarily be the brightest bulb on the ‘Christmas tree’.  Granted, don’t get me wrong...  I think they're wonderful people.  I really do love them very much!  They’re very ‘special’ people!

Here’s a list that someone sent to me describing the special people in our lives!  Feel free to add to it in the comment section below if you have any new ones.

  • An intellect rivalled only by garden tools.
  • As smart as bait.
  • Chimney's clogged.
  • Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
  • Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
  • Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
  • Forgot to pay his brain bill.
  • Her sewing machine's out of thread.
  • His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
  • His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
  • If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
  • Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
  • No grain in the silo.
  • Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
  • Receiver is off the hook.
  • He has less going on upstairs than a one story house.
  • Several nuts short of a full pouch.
  • Skylight leaks a little.
  • Slinky's kinked.
  • Surfing in Nebraska.
  • Too much yardage between the goal posts.
  • A few clowns short of a circus.
  • A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
  • An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
  • A few beers short of a six-pack.
  • Dumber than a box of hair.
  • A few peas short of a casserole.
  • Doesn't have all his corn flakes in one box.
  • The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. 
  • One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl. 
  • One taco short of a combination plate. 
  • A few feathers short of a whole duck.
  • Foam, no beer.
  • The cheese slid off his cracker.
  • Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
  • He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
  • Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
  • The lights are on, but nobody's home.
  • 24 cents short of a quarter.
  • A few bricks shy of a full load.

As a matter of fact, the 'special' people are so 'very special' that Bill Ingvall & Travis Tritt did a song about them!  Here's a video someone put together.  Listen to it.  You'll like it.  Hmmm!  Why didn't the rest of us get a song? 

Oh, and if you really don't get any of this... write me, I can send you your sign for $19.99 for the Standard model; and $24.99 for the Classy model.  Plus applicable taxes, shipping and handling, of course!



Funny Animals

I got these in an email and they literally made me laugh out loud! I hope they put a fun spot in your day too!

Somehow I can relate to this.

Yea... I know some guys who take things too literally as well! 

Ahhh... yea, me too... what he said!  There, take that!

Boy... do I know that feeling!

At least he's got singing talent.  Some of us just keep on dreaming about it.

Woo Hoo... go Fluffy... shake what ya Momma gave ya!

Yea... mine too...  way to much some days.  That's why I need a weight loss program!

I need to get me a friend like that!  Either that I need to be a friend like that!

 
.......and my absolute fave..........'cause everyone needs a friend like this...........


Would  you be my friend?  I need to learn the ropes too!

20 Things that I Just Do NOT Get!

by Carley Cooper


Confused Smiley - Please 'splain Mommy!
Please 'splain Mommy!
Free Source Photo
OK... last time I talked about "20 Things that Make Me Happy"... which really wasn't a concept that I came up with myself. I saw it somewhere. However, it did trigger this new topic.... "20 Things that I Just Do NOT Get!". It's sorta like the flip side. Except, to me, the flip side, really, would be things that make me angry, or things that make me cry. Though that could be a couple blogs on their own, I really don't want to write about them. My best writing comes when I'm 'in the moment'... and I just don't want to get myself that upset. So here's the next best thing. There are some things in this world that I don't understand. For the life of me I just simply cannot wrap my brain around them. Things that make you go "hmmmmmm?!"

I''m going to start from the last one, first, and work my way up to the number one thing that I just do not get!

20. How to cook bacon without having the house full of smoke and the smoke detector going off saying “Fire. Food. Fire. Food” in that annoying voice!
19. Rap or Punk Music. It’s just noise. Isn’t the part about ‘music’ supposed to have some? This doesn’t.
18. Pointy toe shoes.... ewwwww! Ugly. Points are for weapons, not wardrobe!
17. Why anyone would want to wear wool! As much as I really hate ‘cold’, no amount of warm is worth that much itching!
16. Older... OK, maybe that one is wishful thinking! I am a dreamer, after all! LOL
15. The fascination with Hummers... let’s face it, they’re ugly!
14. Clock faces without numbers. I mean... really... isn’t the numbers kind of the point of the thing?!
13. Why God made coffee. The stuff stinks!!!!!!!! How can people drink that stuff?!
12. Why 'what's his name' doesn’t like me. So... I nearly made him as crazy as he made me... is that a good reason to be so pissed?! LOL
11. Atheism. It takes wayyyy too much faith to believe that all the world... it’s perfect order, the incredible detail right down to the atom, how it all works together; right down to all creatures recognizing their own kind... was all created out of nothing. To believe that some huge cosmic burp suddenly happened, out of nothing, and created all that there is in amazingly perfect detail is just not logical to me. My thinking is that Someone had to have made it, or at least started the ball rolling. Besides... I’ve seen presentations that show that science backs up the bible. I can send you some links to do some reading on it if you’re interested.
10. Star Trek.
9. Laid... I know TMI. I need a husband. Anyone have any spare single male friends? I’ll pay for shipping. Even a hubby you’re about to kick to the curb would do right now! LOL
8. Men. Nuff said! Hmmmm? I wonder if this is related to #9?
7. Why God made winter. It’s cold! Cold = Very uncomfortable = Not good!
6. Slapstick Humour or Bathroom Humour. I don’t see where the funny part is in that.
5. Tapioca. It’s gross. My Grandfather said it best “whoever ate that the first time can have it back”. Again, Nuff said!
4. Why God made cats... or Mosquitoes. Some things just don’t seem to have a purpose... outside of annoyance.
3. Golf. It’s just weird.
2. Twitter. Why do I care what someone else is doing? Why do they care what I’m doing?

...aaaaaaand, drum roll please, the number one thing that I just do NOT get...
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1. The Facebook 'Poke'. Seems to me it’s as annoying as someone being next to you poking you with their finger. I mean, seriously... doesn’t that make you wanna just smack someone?!

Well, I hope you enjoyed my list. Or maybe, I've caused you to start wondering! Either way... see if you can come up with 20 of your own! Even this topic, was kinda fun putting it together.


20 Things that Make Me Happy!

by Carley Cooper


Happy Smiley - Hahahahahahahahaha That's just sooo funny!
Hahahahahahahahaha
That's just sooo funny!

Free source photo
20 Things that Make Me Happy...
  1. My church
  2. My new apartment
  3. Cheesecake... sorry, but there has to be at least one sinful food in that list! :-D
  4. SparkPeople Team “The Red Bra Philosophy - for tough life issues”
  5. Pansies
  6. Sunny days of summer
  7. Puppy kisses
  8. A bottle of vodka! Oh, wait, maybe that’s a different kind of ‘happy’ LOL
  9. Pics of Vince Neil or Tom Cruise. Oh, or Axel Rose in the 'Sweet Child of Mine' video!
  10. Good hair days
  11. Tigger
  12. Dance music... the good stuff... not the stuff they call dance music now-a-days
  13. A good, comfy support bra... and yes, I love the under-wires... and a smooth seamless cup
  14. Remembering my Grandma... especially when she started to giggle!
  15. Hearing “I love you”
  16. Hot dates at the drive in... oh wait, scratch that one. Make that, watching great movies with a good friend. :-D
  17. Listening to Gary Allan music..... AWWWWW Oh My GOSH... He is sooooo hot it just makes me crazy!
  18. The little plastic pick thingy they make for flossing teeth! They’re soooo much better than regular dental floss!
  19. Exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!
  20. How much Jesus loves me. 
 

This 'n That

by Carley Cooper


I'm starting this blog just to chat about all sorts of things.  I have another blog website called Worship Melodies where I write devotional messages based on my own journey toward God and my relationship with Him.  However, I wanted a place I can write about other things... like bits and bites of fun stuff in a sundae!  So grab your chocolate sauce and a spoon, we're about to have some fun together!

My name is Carley.  This is me.  I live in Barrie, Ontario, Canada.

Copyrights Reserved 2010. Tin Roof Sunday. Worship Melodies. Carley Cooper. Photo by Glen Harpell of Barrie Free Methodist Church
Photo by BFMC

Here's a list of 10 fun facts about me!  This was part of one article in a series of articles that I wrote a while back. It was fun to write, and I got lots of great feedback from it before.  

Ten Facts about Me:
  1. Yes, this is my natural hair color!  Except for the grey... I have no clue how that got there!  
  2. I am the oldest of 3 (I have 2 brothers).
  3. I was born in Newfoundland, Canada.
  4. One of the hottest guys I know is a pator (AWWWW OM gosh, this one is sizzling).  BFMC'ers... don't bother trying, you'll never guess.
  5. Even though I got my drivers license when I was 18 & now I'm *cough, cough* much more than that... but not too much... I'm still waiting to get my 1st car.
  6. I once was in love with a guy who almost drove me crazy (literally).  I still think he is very 'steamy'.  So on that note, I guess I really am crazy.  LOL
  7. I watched a lot of submarine races after dark from Signal Hill (Ya gotta be a Newfie to get that one!) :-)
  8. I'm as stubborn as a mule.
  9. I believe there are two perfect foods in this world... Cheesecake & Pizza, Oh, and Doritos.
  10. I have huge faith in Jesus; and I have super power called prayer. (OK, I know, that's sorta 2 in one). 
If you like my list, you should do one of your own.  Share it with me.  I'd love to see it!  I hope you like both of my blog sites.  Please leave me comments.  I love the feedback!